The Incredible Shino
by PhoenixClaw
Summary: While returning from yet another failed mission, Kiba and Hinata discover the true purpose behind Shino's emotionless persona. Too bad it has to come at the cost of one of the most emotionally scarring experiences to ever befall their young lives.


_**DISCLAIMER**_: Don't-Own-Naruto

Well, it seems I still have a bit of Writer's Block to work through, so what better way to take my mind off things than by writing a completely different story altogether! I bet the majority of you saw Shino laugh in Episode 186, but did you ever wonder what would happen if he got angry? Well...look no further! (Heh heh, poor Kiba...)

Enjoy!

* * *

Sunset was fast approaching as a placid glow illuminated three diverse characters plodding onward through the forest's thick undergrowth. Having just returned from the abysmal failure of yet another C-ranked mission, the members of Team 8 were understandably...on edge. 

"Dammit Shino, _c'mon_! He's practically our fourth team member! Give me a break!"

The bug-nin casually adjusted a dark pair of sunglasses situated upon the bridge of his nose.

"Kiba-san. The Aburame clan does not interfere with the natural life-cycles of its insects."

Kiba absently began to clench and unclench a fist. The small white puppy at his side looked up at him pleadingly.

"But he has fleas!" The dog-nin hastily began to scratch the top of his head. "_And so do I!_"

Hinata, who had remained several steps behind her quarreling teammates, decided it best to try and diffuse the situation as quickly as possible.

"Umm...m-maybe just this once, Shino-kun...? Or Kiba-kun, w-why don't we all give Akamaru a bath as a team and-"

A glint of light reflected off black-rimmed lenses, bringing her delicate petition to a halt.

"Hinata-san. Your input, while appreciated, will not result in a recourse of my previously stated decision. Simply put, it would be impossible for me to do as Kiba-san asks. For that, I apologize."

The young girl lowered her head immediately, accepting his words as fact. Kiba, on the other hand, rounded on the both of them. Akamaru glanced upward to see his master thrust an accusatory finger towards their tight-lipped companion.

"Ya know what? Screw you, Shino! Every time Tsunade-sama assigns you as team leader, you just get a little more full of yourself!"

Hinata cringed at the volley of insults directed at the boy beside her. Shino merely came to a stop, addressing the young man in a cool, collected fashion. Kiba continued on right where he had left off.

"We're your teammates, dammit, and so is Akamaru! We should always take priority when on a mission! Your stupid bugs can take a back seat to our needs for once!"

Beneath his high-neck collar, the dark-haired shinobi took on the shallowest of grim frowns.

"My insects have saved all our lives on more occasions than I care to count. It is not a matter of-"

He was cut off by a savage growl. The dog-nin stomped a foot on the ground to clarify his point.

"The only reason we were even discovered was because Akamaru couldn't stop scratching! If you had just gone and done something about it, we could've finally come back and reported a successful mission! Hinata didn't even mess up or anything this time! It was all y-"

At that moment, Kiba's brain caught up with his mouth as he quickly snapped his jaw shut. A hesitant glance to the side revealed two pale lavender eyes cast down to the ground, directed away from both of them.

"Ah...Hinata, I didn't mean to...err, that wasn't what I ..."

"N-No...its ok. You're right, after all. I...I'm usually the reason for our failed missions..."

A deeply ingrained silence hovered above all three genin at the sudden shift in their conversation. Kiba issued forth a half-hearted 'tsk' before turning around and trudging onward towards Konaha. Within moments, all three members of Team 8 were once again heading back home, albeit in a more solemn fashion than before.

Several minutes passed in relative silence, interspersed only with occasional stops by Akamaru to give himself a good scratching. The Inuzuka boy bent down and ruffled the puppies fur in sympathy. He addressed the open air with a sigh.

"Ok, so you won't make them leave. What can I do to help Akamaru get through this?"

Shino stuck both hands a bit deeper into his pockets as he pondered the question.

"One would normally have purchased a flea collar so as to prevent such a situation from arising at all. It is the responsibility of the handler to both provide and care for the needs of the animal in question."

The dog-nin twitched ever so slightly as he once again rose to his feet, a dangerous glint already present in his eyes.

"And just what the hell is that supposed to mean...? Akamaru is the most important person in my life; I would never treat him any differently than the best way I knew how."

Shino gave his glasses a slight adjustment.

"Then it is truly a wonder that he ever managed to become infested in the first place."

Kiba gritted his teeth and shoved a sleeve half-way past his elbow. A single step forward brought him within striking distance of his passive teammate.

"You jerk! I'll make you pay for that!"

Just as he geared up for a punch, a delicate hand made its presence known atop his shoulder. Soft, pale eyes looked up at him pleadingly.

"Kiba-kun, please, I...I'm sure Shino-kun didn't mean to upset you, and...we're all really tired right now, so...can't we just head back without any fighting...?"

Kiba promptly turned his head and looked away, knowing full well the inevitable calming effect Hinata's gaze always seemed to have upon him. He wanted to stay angry if for no better reason than to deny Shino the satisfaction of knowing he had won.

The Inuzuka boy gently shrugged off the young Hyuuga's hand before taking another threatening step forward. Any further progress, however, was suddenly impeded by a tug at his leg. Kiba glanced down to see a tiny jaw clamped onto his pant cuff, trying its best to hold him back.

"Ah, jeez. Akamaru, you too?"

The small dog issued forth a stern 'arf!' through his mouthful of fabric. Shino remained immobile, taking in the sights before him.

"Shall we go home now, Kiba-san?"

Kiba cast a brief glance at the female of the trio. Hinata offered him a hopeful smile. Akamaru released his cuff and nudged him in the direction they had already been heading. The dog-nin let loose an exasperated breath.

"Yeah, fine. Let's just go."

Both his teammates nodded accordingly and began to proceed on their way. Akamaru trotted along behind them.

Malcontent with his temporary loss of alpha male status, the young ninja delivered a solid kick to a fallen tree trunk. Much to his surprise and disgust, an entire section of wood simply disintegrated allowing a myriad assortment of bugs and insects to pour out onto the dense foliage.

Resisting his urge to wince, Kiba paused a moment before assuming a rather devilish grin.

_Oh man, this is gonna be sweet..._

Ahead on the path, Shino was just beginning to enjoy the tranquil ambiance of the setting sun when he heard a most unfortunate sound behind him.

_CRUNCH_

The bug-nin halted mid-stride, turning ever so slowly as a single eyebrow ascended over the rim of his glasses. Hinata spun about at the misplaced noise only to have her jaw drop in shock.

"_K-Kiba-kun!_"

From his position a dozen feet back, Kiba offered the pair a feigned look of innocence. Several squished bugs fell to the ground as he casually wiped his sandal across a strip of bark.

"Whoops! Now how did that happen? Heh, my bad..."

Tossing an arm behind his neck, Kiba took on a huge grin as he nonchalantly brought his foot down upon another wriggling mass of insects.

"Wow, would you look at that! Sorry man! Hope that wasn't one of your aunts or anything..."

Shino took a foreboding step forward. The young Hyuuga assumed a blank look of horror.

"Kiba-kun! Please stop!"

She was answered by a harsh bark of laughter.

"Stop what, Hinata? I'm just doing my part to make sure no one else has to deal with any _infestations_ of their own. Isn't that right, Shino?"

The genin in question came to a sudden halt. With head bent low, he slowly brought a single finger up to his glasses before assuming a deathly calm demeanor.

"Do not make me angry, Kiba-san. You would not like me when I am angry..."

The dog-nin scoffed, eager to return to his new pastime.

"Yeah? Well I don't really like you _now_, so lets just see how much worse I can make it, eh?"

Hinata looked back from one boy to another, unsure of what to do. Kiba merrily went back to work stomping and crushing anything with more than four legs. Shino, on the other hand, began to twitch and fidget in the most peculiar fashion.

"K-Kiba-san...I will n-not offer you another w-warning..."

Oblivious to the odd nature of his teammates actions, the Inuzuka boy answered with another gruff laugh and a short jig upon several dozen helpless insects. Shino promptly dropped to his knees, unable to handle the invasive onslaught of so many negative emotions. Instantly, hundreds upon hundreds of bugs began to swarm across the young man's body, effectively surrounding him in a living veil of darkness.

Kiba looked across to his insect-ridden teammate, smirking in triumph.

"Ha! Looks like the great Shino can get angry after all! Serves you right for making Akamaru suffer like that!"

Unperturbed by the dog-nin's smug words, a veritable cloud of insects descended upon their host with the voracity of a deranged predator. Hinata let out a short gasp before gathering Akamaru into the safety of her jacket. Kiba's expression of victory had just began to slip from his features when a fierce storm of random bugs suddenly began to collide with their stoic teammate from all directions at once.

By this point, Hinata had made her way over to Kiba in an effort to avoid being overtaken by the gale of insects buzzing around and past them. Akamaru began to whimper softly as his owner questioned the wisdom of pushing Shino quite so far.

"Ah, hey. It was only a joke! Jeez, don't get so worked up about it. I'll help you find some more insects when we all get back...to..."

As the words slowly drained from his mouth, a hulking mass of wriggling insects rose from the earth, quite effectively eliminating the hope that this could in any way be resolved through a civilized manner. The dog-nin craned his neck way back so as to take in the full image of the beast before him.

A glowing pair of firefly eyes regarded the boy closely, offset only by the intricate framework of millipedes and stick bugs that comprised what usually would have constituted a mouth. From their position several feet to either side, two massive arms riddled with carpenter ants and june bugs rose to block out the rising moon in a titanic display of unbridled power.

Kiba swallowed hard as a squirming ball of creepy crawlies loomed precariously above his head.

"Oh..._crap_."

Acting purely on instinct, the dog-nin leapt to the side just as a writhing fist hammered down on the spot he had just moments ago been inhabiting.

"_Shino_ _smash_!"

Another leap to the side left only a handful of trees to absorb the monumental blow aimed at his head.

"_Shino crash_!"

With all the tenacity of a wild beast, Kiba threw himself to the ground just as a claw formed exclusively from praying mantis' raked the air directly above him.

"S_hino open family-run delicatessen and make modest living in quiet suburban neighborhood!_"

The dog-nin was back on his feet in an instant.

"Dammit Shino! I don't wanna have to...wait, wha-"

"_Shino eat __**BaBiEs!**_"

"Holy crap!"

Hinata could scarcely watch as she observed the battle through fingers spread slightly apart. Akamaru pivoted both ears forward in a valiant effort to cover his eyes. Kiba let loose a terrified howl as he dodged yet another devastating blow from behind.

"For God's sake Shino, it's me! I'm sorry, ok! I'm really, really sorry! I'll never hurt another bug as long as I live, alright?"

At such a heartfelt declaration of remorse, the buggy monstrosity lumbered to a halt. Hinata swallowed gingerly as she observed both boy and bug make amends. Kiba assumed his best grin and offered an olive branch in the form of a handshake.

"C'mon, how about it? No hard feelings?"

The hulking beast glanced down towards the extended appendage before slowly extending a massive claw forward. Both figures regarded one another with whatever passed for a smile in each of their situations. The Inuzuka boy nodded whole-heartedly before turning to their last remaining teammate.

"Ok Hinata! I think he got it all out of his system! Let's go back to-"

And thats when a massive jaw descended upon the poor dog-nin, swallowing him in one solid gulp. The Aburame ninja patted his bug-infested belly just as their pale-eyed counterpart collapsed to the ground in a dead faint. A wicked smile laced with cockroaches and grasshoppers adored the bug-nin's features as Akamaru buried himself a bit deeper into the confines of the comatose girl's jacket.

"_Shino accept apology._"

-

-

After what seemed an eternity, the dog-nin pried his eyes open only to be greeted by Hinata as well as Akamaru sitting atop her lap. The young Hyuuga directed a joyful smile at her newly awakened teammate. He regarded the small girl with a questioning look set behind half-lidded eyes.

"Hinata...where am I? Ugh, what...happened to me...?"

The young woman cringed as she recalled the memory. A pair of lavender eyes twitched slightly as they suddenly took a great interest in the top of Akamaru's head.

"Umm...y-you got..._eaten_...Kiba-kun...I think you really made Shino-kun angry this time..."

At the mention of the bug-nin, Kiba shot bolt upright only to find himself stationed in one of the beds at Konaha's resident hospital. Much to his relief, he seemed to have not been turned into fertilizer thanks to millions of bugs digesting him from the outside in. Much to his dismay, the young man in question was standing right by the side of his bed as if nothing had ever happened, his stationary form blocking out most of the mid-morning sunlight that was seeping through a window.

"Kiba-san. You are alright." The Inuzuka boy couldn't tell if that was a question, an affirmation, or simple disappointment.

"Please forgive my rude actions, Kiba-san. When a member of the Aburame clan is overcome with anger, we temporarily are unable to control the hive that dwells within us. For that brief time, our base needs and emotions overtake the collective."

He casually glanced off to the side.

"I believe you are familiar with the results."

Kiba sweat-dropped, already regretting the numerous times he had used beetles as targets when practicing Dynamic Marking with Akamaru.

"Uh, yeah, heh. Don't worry about it. We'll just call it even, ok?"

After several moments of silence, Shino gave a curt nod before addressing the girl across from him.

"Hinata-san. We should leave Kiba-san to rest and recover his strength. In the meantime, I will go ahead and orchestrate preparations for a flea bath. Please assist me in gathering the required materials."

The young girl was on her feet in an instant, depositing her furry companion atop Kiba's chest.

"Umm...o-ok. We'll see you later, Kiba-kun! I'll bring you a home-made treat when we come back."

Kiba blinked and smiled at the retreating forms of his two teammates. Resting in a comfy bed _and_ getting some of Hinata's awesome cooking? The dog-nin reclined against a pillow and scratched his partner behind the ears. Maybe this wouldn't end up being such a bad day after all!

Outside in the hallway, Shino proceeded down the corridor at a leisurely pace.

"U-Umm..."

The young man paused, taking the time to regard his friend in a dignified manner.

"Yes, Hinata-san? Is there something you wish to say?"

"Oh...umm, well..."

Shino eyed the Hyuuga with an impassive stare. Hinata began to twiddle her fingers as she glanced down at her feet.

"I...I was just wondering...y-you said that your base needs and emotions overcome your senses, but...why did you mention a delicatessen...?"

At her tentative inquiry, the boy turned around to face her head on.

"Hinata-san. The answer to that question is simple."

His companion blinked in surprise.

"It has always been a life-long dream of mine to handle other people's meat."

Hinata's eye gave a rather violent twitch.

"T-That's...kinda creepy, Shino-kun."

The bug-nin adjusted his glasses, catching a glistening ray of sunlight as he pivoted away from her.

"I know."

A pause.

"A-And...the babies...?"

Shino slid both hands back into his pockets. The young woman gulped uneasily.

"Hinata-san. While a healthy curiosity does indeed expand one's horizons, there are still some questions that are best left..._unanswered_."

And with that, the bug-nin turned about once more and proceeded down the hallway, leaving his teammate in a partial state of mortified shock.

Several moments later, the Hyuuga heiress scurried after him with renewed vigor, hastily composing a mental note to never let him baby-sit for her at any point in the future.

* * *

I dunno...it seemed funnier in my head. (Shrugs) 

Well, I hope it at least made you smile. And yes, Shino is creepy, but he's still freakin' awesome. :)

Heh, well, another one-shot written and submitted! Guess I should probably get started on the next one...


End file.
